No Overhead Lights!
LD: So is there a time that I could get in here to hang some lights for the show that people won’t be in the house?
Facility Manager: You want to hang lights over the audience? That sounds kind of dangerous.
LD: Does it? Does it really?
*Submitted by goatblr
The Best Advice
(Lighting designer and director are discussing a cue, with light-op watching)
D: I still think it’s too bright…what’s your front light at?
LD: (sees readouts ranging from 30% to 70%) Fifty!
D: Bring it down…maybe 35?
LD: (changes readings to 50ish) Like that?
D: Better….What’s that?
D: I like it! Keep it like that!
LD: (changes readings to 40ish and saves cue)
LO: Wait, LD…
LD: You give the director what they want, not what they ask for.
*Submitted by Anonymous
This has nothing to do with our show.
"They said that microwaves actually destroy the nutrients in your food, so it’s not even worth it to eat the healthy food if you microwave it."
"Who said that? How does that happen?"
"Someone did an experiment by watering two plants - one with microwaved, cooled-down water and one with purified water. The microwaved water plant shriveled up and couldn’t survive."
"Wasn’t that someone a second-grader?"
"How does it change the water molecules?"
"I think we need the Googles."
"Yes, someone consult the spirits."
"Okay, the spirits say the microwave nutrients thing is a myth, according to Snopes."
"What about the microwave water thing?"
"Well, does someone have two house plants? …One of which they’re willing to kill - for science?"
"I kill them all the time."
*Submitted by akanymous
(Giving an actor a note to lower his sword in a conflict)
Director: “Lower, lower. We don’t stab people in the face.”
SM: “Well…you could.”
Other techs: “Yeah you really could.”
*Submitted by seirramist25
A successful tech day is when shit gets done and no one dies.
Anonymous said: Cue the tinkles? There was a production of Glass Menagerie that I worked where the menagerie was represented by a musical instrument offstage. When the menagerie is broken, the cue was called "violent tinkles"
Amazing. *TINKLES VIOLENTLY*
(During tech for Oklahoma)
SM: All is says is “Call at the twinkles”. What twinkles?
LD: That’s the twinkle. Call it at the twinkles.
*Submitted by Megan