Sing Along Time!
(To the tune of “The Song That Never Ends”)
This is the call that never ends,
Yes it goes on and on my friends,
Some people started teching it not knowing what it was,
And we’ll continue teching it,
Cause we are fucking dumb
This is the call that never ends…
This happened in our last production. (LL =leading lady, LM= leading man, D= director,SM= sound guy)
*love scene going on*
SM: Director look look
D: What I’m busy!
SM: LM has a boner!
D: What? Oh my god. Look away!
SM: But he..
D: Shut up. Shut up! Maybe no one noticed
*after scene*
LL: Everyone noticed that boner right?
D: *face palm*
Tech crew: *laughs hysterically*
*Submitted by 1950sgal
Friends, Romans, uuhhhh.. people
Director on first night of rehearsal: Shakespeare knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he was saying. Every letter is in the right place, so if you mix up two syllables or words you are fucking it up. Don’t fuck it up.
*Submitted by tabzillarawr
Cord Not Be More Wrong
Set Designer: There’s also a cord back here.
Lighting Designer: Leave my cord alone.
Director: [Over Voice of God]: Cory said to leave his cord alone.
Stage Manager: Cory said he’s never wrong?
Director: No, he said to leave his cord alone.
Stage Manager: Good, because I’d have something to say about that.
*Submitted by thetravelerslight
Tricks of the Trade
Fight Choreographer: You don’t need to actually be in pain, just make a face.
(Actor makes a face)
FC: See! There you go! Acting’s wonderful.
*Submitted by therosehshow
Clarification
SM: Spot, I didn’t warn you, but you’ll be coming up soon. On Lovett.
Dir: The woman.
LD: The one without the beard.
*Submitted by thetravelerslight
Sharing is Caring
Playwright: What would happen if this (the red bull she’s holding) had vodka in it.
Director & SM:You would be sharing.
*Submitted by therosehshow
Ode to backstage crews!
Nimble as a cat
Fetching this and that
Shying from light and face
Gone without a trace.
Costumes and makeup
Did someone need a touch-up?
Yes, you have to wear lipstick
Dude, that wound job is sick!
Sawdust in the air
Screws on every chair
There’s nothing we can’t do
Three cheers for set crew
We take your mics and your lights
And make them work all night!
We know every single cue
And whether amber light or blue.
Sweeping up, prop check,
Wearing black up to our necks
Need scissors, pens or glue?
We got you covered! We’re backstage crew!
*Submitted by Kelly of Run Crew
Opening night
Actor who graduated last year: Oh my god everyone did so well! The acting, Tech, Pit, Everyone! But I didn’t see you at all!
ASM: Heh that’s the point isn’t it?
Actor: Yeaahh *winks*
*Submitted by sp1der-man
sincer-lyyours asked: Not a quote, but I wanted to share with my fellow techies that my high school's stage crew that I'm on was nominated for a high-school-level Tony-esque award, and the entire production got sixteen nominations in all. THANKS!
That’s awesome! Kick ass, take names, make sure the awards show is as well run as your production and keep on techin!
