Wednesday, July 30, 2014

No Overhead Lights!

LD: So is there a time that I could get in here to hang some lights for the show that people won’t be in the house?

Facility Manager: You want to hang lights over the audience? That sounds kind of dangerous.

LD: Does it? Does it really?

*Submitted by  

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Best Advice

(Lighting designer and director are discussing a cue, with light-op watching)

D: I still think it’s too bright…what’s your front light at?

LD: (sees readouts ranging from 30% to 70%) Fifty!

D:  Bring it down…maybe 35?

LD: (changes readings to 50ish) Like that?

D:  Better….What’s that?

LD: Forty!

D: I like it! Keep it like that!

LD: (changes readings to 40ish and saves cue)

LO: Wait, LD…

LD: You give the director what they want, not what they ask for.

*Submitted by Anonymous 

Monday, July 28, 2014 Sunday, July 27, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014

This has nothing to do with our show.

"They said that microwaves actually destroy the nutrients in your food, so it’s not even worth it to eat the healthy food if you microwave it."

"Who said that? How does that happen?"

"Someone did an experiment by watering two plants - one with microwaved, cooled-down water and one with purified water. The microwaved water plant shriveled up and couldn’t survive."

"Wasn’t that someone a second-grader?"

"How does it change the water molecules?"

"I think we need the Googles."

"Yes, someone consult the spirits."

"Okay, the spirits say the microwave nutrients thing is a myth, according to Snopes."


"What about the microwave water thing?"

"Well, does someone have two house plants? …One of which they’re willing to kill - for science?"

"I kill them all the time."


*Submitted by  

Friday, July 25, 2014

Violent? Us?

(Giving an actor a note to lower his sword in a conflict)

Director: “Lower, lower. We don’t stab people in the face.”

SM: “Well…you could.”

Other techs: “Yeah you really could.”

*Submitted by  

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Should be posted in every backstage n greenroom!


Should be posted in every backstage n greenroom!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


A successful tech day is when shit gets done and no one dies.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Anonymous said: Cue the tinkles? There was a production of Glass Menagerie that I worked where the menagerie was represented by a musical instrument offstage. When the menagerie is broken, the cue was called "violent tinkles"


Twinkle Twinkle

(During tech for Oklahoma)

SM: All is says is “Call at the twinkles”. What twinkles?

LD: That’s the twinkle. Call it at the twinkles.

*Submitted by Megan